VAL AND ZEL VISIT THE FUZZIES

Posted by Toni V.S. | 4:20 PM | 6 comments »





Due to my usual ineptness where finding the proper Chat Room is concerned, the following blog (scheduled for TWRP's Halloween Ball) didn't reach its destination in its entirety. Learning this, the gentleheroes of "Love, Vampire Style" and "Demon in Blue Jeans" complained loudly. Therefore, to give the boys their chance to speak out, I promised them I'd repost the blog. So...without further ado...here's Valerius Andresciu and Zellascrastides Amschönstenundeinliebendius. Wow, that's a mouthful!

ZEL: (waves one hand permissively) Don't sweat it-- Even my wife can't pronounce it. That's why I took her last name. Kind of a reverse feminist thing. Just call me Zel Carter.

VAL: (snorts derisively) You wouldn't catch me changing my last name. Dude, you should have kept it! Even if it is a tongue-twister and a half!

ZEL: Valerius... Hmm. (thoughtfully) Sounds like someone who should be chasing after Julius Caesar on the Ides of March.

VAL: (smooths back a jet-black curl hanging over one eye) As a matter of fact, my family was fairly prominent in Rome...

ZEL: ...but my family can trace its roots back further than the Roman Empire...

TVS: Gentlemen...Let's not argue over whose heritage is the oldest...although Zel does have you beat, Val, by a few thousand millennia.

ZEL: (graciously) But we won't even mention that.

VAL: So good of you not to. (stares at TVS with a deep, bottomless gaze) Thank you for inviting me. May I say that--for a woman of a certain age--you're the most enchanting female I've seen in a century...or two...

TVS: (a little nervously) Thank you...I think.

ZEL: (looks around with interest) So this is the Internet. Wow! And I thought the Great Satan was exaggerating when he said he'd found a new and faster way to tempt humans!

TVS: (hastily) Back on course, Zel. Your esoteric beginnings aside, I believe you two have much in common...

VAL: What do you mean by that? (dark eyes flare crimson) I don't think there's anything that an aristocratic--and handsome--young vampire like myself would have in common with a mere Hell-spawned incubus. (to Zel) What does she mean by that?

ZEL: (Shakes his long blond locks) Search me! I'm still trying to figure out what esoteric means!

TVS: Let me rephrase that. You're both supernatural creatures...

VAL: You get no argument there.

TVS: You both have wings...

ZEL: Just don't ask us to show you...(leans forward, whispering) Have to be naked to release our wings, y'know...

VAL: (leers) Unless you absolutely wish to see...

TVS: (Hastily)...and you've both gotten into a bit of trouble because of the ladies.

ZEL: (shrugs) Let's face it, Valerius. She's got us there. But, hey--I'm an incubus. Seducing women is in my job description. As for Val--what vampire worth his--if you'll excuse the expression--salt, isn't going to go after a slender, pale throat?

TVS: Val, wasn't that the reason you had to leave Transylvania?

VAL: Don't blame me for that! My older brother Marius was the one who got himself exiled because he couldn't keep his fangs off necks the Prince had marked as his own. I just came along for the ride.

TVS: Uh-huh...and have been mooching off Big Brother ever since.

VAL: (defensively) I'm a younger son. I'm not expected to amount to much...(looks at Zel defiantly) That's my job description!

ZEL: And you were doing your darndest to carry out those expectations, weren't you? Living la vida American, partying until dawn, etc? How is Noo Orleens these days?

TVS: Mustn't be so uppity, Zel. Didn't I hear that you were a definite underachiever back in the Inferno?

Zel: Yes...well...I come from a large family--there were 200 of us... so I figured...why exhaust myself if I can just get by and no one notices?

VAL: (snarkily) Unfortunately, someone did notice, didn't they--wasn't it...Satan? Hmmm? The Big Boss himself?

ZEL: Don't look so superior. (as Val does just that) I understand your older brother gave you an ultimatum--get married or else...something like that?

VAL: All right--so we're both slackers. Still, I thought we handled our individual little crises pretty well, wouldn't you say?

ZEL: I don't know that I'd call being kicked out of Hell by the Great Satan himself handling anything well. I was lucky I got off with some burned wingtips and a bit of sulphur in my hair! But, I did get Katy out of the deal....

VAL: and I got Anike...

ZEL: (admiringly) I'll have to admit you took a pretty big chance...

VAL: Yeah, if Anike had turned out to be human...it would've been all over...stakes and sunrise...

ZEL: You almost made an ash of yourself. (laughs at his pun)

TVS: I guess you could say you both got HEAs out of this.

ZEL: HEA? What's that? Hell's Everywhere Always? Here's Eventual Apathy? How E--

VAL: It means Happily Ever After--and I'll drink to that! Speaking of drinking... When we're through here-- Zel, want to go down to that little pub on the corner and raise a few?

Zel: (primly) I'm sorry. I don't drink alcohol.

VAL: (brows rising in astonishment) And you call yourself a demon? I thought you guys could drink anyone under the table! Anyway, I was talking about good ol' plasma!

ZEL: Actually, blood gives me indigestion, and alcohol makes me hiccup...as does caffeine...and chocolate...

VAL: You are definitely missing out on some of the finer things in life. So...how's about we just have a couple of Sprites, then? (stands up)

ZEL: I think I can handle that. (stands up also) Say, why don't I call Katy and you get your wife and we meet there? I'd really like to meet Anike...

Val: (suspicious) And what does that mean? I don't know that I want to introduce my woman to an incubus--

ZEL: Relax, Pal. I admit I'm always going to have an eye for the ladies, but Katy's got my heart and saying hello to another woman and shaking her hand is as far as it ever goes nowadays.

TVS: Guys...about the interview---

VAL: (ignoring her feeble attempts to steer the conversation back to the subject) In that case...do you like Cajun food? There's this little diner near my digs in New Orleans...serves the best hot ribs in town...and I mean Hell-fire hot!

ZEL: Sounds like my kind of place....

(they walk toward the door, still talking)

TVS: Guys? The interview?

VAL: (looks back) Tell your readers to see the trailers or download the novelettes if they want to know more about us!

(they disappear through the door leading to the street and disappear into the twilight).

(The above photos of Zel (first) and Valerius (second) are courtesy of www.fotolia.com., and can also be seen in my trailers of "Love, Vampire Style" and "Demon in Blue Jeans.")

6 comments

  1. Mary Ricksen // November 19, 2008 at 5:45 PM  

    You should have gone with them and had some...fun that is. You had them behaving for awhile.

  2. Beth Trissel // November 19, 2008 at 8:22 PM  

    I don't know how you did this amazing interview, Toni. It would be beyond me. :)

  3. Scarlet Pumpernickel // November 19, 2008 at 9:03 PM  

    Bad boys being bad! Yum

  4. Joanne // November 20, 2008 at 9:03 AM  

    Fabulous interview, Toni.
    Thanks for sharing.

  5. Nightingale // November 20, 2008 at 9:31 AM  

    Fun! I know you had fun writing it too!

  6. Mary Marvella // November 20, 2008 at 10:54 PM  

    Your boys are a hoot! They'd be fun at a party, or anywhere. I wanted to see the wings!