With each passing year I’m getting closer to my fifties. I see both positives and negatives in that. For one thing, I’m much smarter now and more accepting of myself. I’m definitely not so concerned about what the world thinks of me anymore.

Now fifty isn't old, but as the years roll by I’m getting a little anxious. I haven’t achieved all my dreams yet. There are a lot more books I want to write and things I want to see, do, and experience. And while I’m fairly healthy, I’m not as flexible or as mentally sharp as I was ten years ago. Where did I put those darn keys?

So how do I slip gracefully into my fifties?

I know. I’ll turn the exciting momentum of an Aha Moment I had a few days ago into a workable plan. The moment, use my fifties as a springboard to the best years of my life.

To accomplish this, I bought myself a bracelet. I call it my Commitment Bracelet. It helps me to stay focused. It’s made of rubber so I never take it off. I’m a visual learner and respond better to what I can see or touch, so every time I notice the bracelet I take time to...

 Stop and be grateful for what I have. I’m very blessed but tend to forget that fact in the midst of daily troubles.

 Be kind to myself. Eat healthy, get more sleep and exercise. Put myself first. Love me.

 Work toward achieving my goals. Even if I can only do it for five minutes.

 Envision myself happy and succeeding. Imagine my dreams, live them in my mind.

That’s all, just four little steps to make my fifties my biggest and best years yet.

Most of you attended National this year in Orlando. You’re already pumped up and rearing to go. Your motivation is strong. But as the days pass it probably will begin to fade (as it often does in my case). Then what?

Just as I’ve made a commitment to make my life great at any age, I challenge you to skydive toward your dreams, and then find something to keep you focused. It can be as simple as a quote posted on your computer or a picture your kid painted in school, just make it relevant to your life.

I’d love to read all your wonderful ideas.

With much love,

Pamela Varnado (Vee)

AFTER GLOW available now (http://www.thewilderroses.com/)


  1. Scarlet Pumpernickel // August 4, 2010 at 2:51 PM  

    Pam, great blog. Fifty is just another number, it's what is insdie that counts. Keep striving to meet all those milestones. Hope the DH is doing well. I am pumped after attending National and wanting to work, however, I am in Savannah with the family. Will try to do some writing. The hotel has an awesome salt water pool. I'm in heaven. Just want to get to writing, the local is very inspiring.

  2. Barbara Monajem // August 4, 2010 at 2:52 PM  

    LOL. At least you're not challenging us to do real skydiving -- because I would have hated to have to say NO WAY!!

    Actually, I feel that my mental abilities have improved with age. I don't memorize as easily as in the past, but my thought processes are clearer. I think that has to do with wasting less mental energy on irrelevant stuff.

    Go, Pam! Thanks for the pep talk.

  3. Carol Burnside // August 4, 2010 at 3:13 PM  

    When I saw the sky diving thing, I thought no way, but read the end with some relief. LOL! Heights aren't my forte.

    However, to keep myself on track, I set goals each year. Attainable goals, like writing a certain % more than I did the previous year, or entering more contests, or starting an agent search. Things that will get me a step closer to publication.

    I think it's important, no matter what the method, that we make some progress each year/month/week/day or we get complacent about the journey. Love your bracelet idea. :)

  4. Mary Marvella // August 4, 2010 at 3:40 PM  

    I have a photo of Pam climbing a fireman's ladder. Anything is possible!

  5. Cyrano // August 4, 2010 at 4:02 PM  

    Hi Pammy!
    It still floors me that you're pushing 50! Not that fifty is old, by any means, but there are a lot of fifty year olds walking around that look ancient. You look absolutely stunning. I'm loving those curls you're rockin by the way.
    Anyhoo, I wanted to know where you got that bracelet. I noticed you were wearing it the other day at lunch and meNtion to ask you then.
    I want one too!!!
    Luv you Pam!

  6. Pamela Vee // August 4, 2010 at 4:17 PM  

    Scarlet, I lived in Savannah for two years when my husband was stationed at Hunter Army Airfield. Except for the stench of the paper mill, I loved the city. It's so full of life and there's always something to do. Are you planning on taking a horse drawn carriage ride. They're a wonderful way to see the city.

  7. Pamela Vee // August 4, 2010 at 4:22 PM  

    While I'm very adventurous, skydiving does seem scary, though I might give it a try if I'm strapped to an expert. Then all I'd have to do is hold on as if my life depended on it. LOL.

  8. Pamela Vee // August 4, 2010 at 4:27 PM  

    Carol, setting goals is so important. They keep me focused. Also, I do my best work when I use A TO List daily. I like how you challenge yourself more each year. Keep thinking that way and you will be successfu.

  9. Pamela Vee // August 4, 2010 at 4:31 PM  

    Mary M.
    I remember climbing the seven story fireman's ladder. Halfway up, the wind was moving the ladder and I was so scared. It would have been easy to turn around and climb back down. But I told myself that I wouldn't have another regret in my life. So I dug in and made it to the top. What a great feeling.

  10. Connie Gillam // August 4, 2010 at 4:35 PM  

    Great post, Pamela.

    I made a decision today. I would take every opportunity to compliment someone on their dress, hair, etc. smile at everyone who makes eye contact and enjoy each day as it comes.
    Life is too short to worry and piss and moan.

    Thanks, Pam.

  11. Pamela Vee // August 4, 2010 at 4:38 PM  

    I ordered it at http://www.nightingale.com/. It's a wonderful site filled with motivational tools that help you reach your goals.

    The bracelet is called a lifelink bracelet. You can order different symbols on it. I choose committment because I felt it was what was lacking in my life. But since I ordered the bracelet, I've been able to finish a book and exercise every day. WOHOO.

  12. Pamela Vee // August 4, 2010 at 4:42 PM  

    Connie, life is a great gift. To not use it to the best of our potential is a disgrace. We need to be more accepting and loving of each other. A smile is dirt cheap, but the effect it has on a person's life is priceless.

  13. Your Wonderful Daughter Tina // August 4, 2010 at 9:13 PM  


    I love reading your blogs...and 50? I always thought you stopped aging at 50 :) I like your four little steps of making your transition graceful. You do need to stop worrying so much. Your kids are grown and have families of their own now....no need to worry so much! You raised us wonderfully and we will not disappoint you. You have lived a wonderful life and you have many many many years ahead of you. Plus you know you have to see Triston and Ivan have families of their own! So no more worrying and focus on you and achieving all of your dreams. I love you Momma!

    Love Your Wonderful Daughter~ Tina

  14. Pamela Vee // August 5, 2010 at 8:14 AM  

    Tina, I'm so proud to have raised such a special daughter. I miss you and the boys so much. July 2012seems way too long for you to move from Japan, but I want you to enjoy every experience you have there. Smooches, Momma

  15. Joanne // August 5, 2010 at 1:09 PM  

    Your challenge is a relevant one. I'm already in my 50's, and feel the best is yet to come.

  16. Beth Trissel // August 5, 2010 at 3:12 PM  

    It's not your age it's your health that really counts. Great post, and thanks for not pushing me out of a real plane! Yikes.

  17. Mary Marvella // August 5, 2010 at 6:07 PM  

    Pam, Tina is a treasure! She made me tear up with her message.

  18. Judy // August 6, 2010 at 2:55 PM  

    Great post, Pam! Age and living well is all in someone's head, I believe. But I, like you, need a few reminders. As far as my writing reminders, one of my favorites is a quote from somewhere, I don't even know where it came from, but it's posted on my computer. "The dream is power. It is the gift of imagination. The ability to translate feelings into words that reach deep inside each one of us, an awesome legacy bridging generations with its promise of hope and love..." Thanks!

  19. Mary Ricksen // August 6, 2010 at 9:12 PM  

    Hi Pam, You're a baby sweetie, I just turned 60 and a half.
    I am only 40 in my head. And I'm staying that way.
    What were we talking about?