Have you ever felt in a crap mood for days? Maybe for weeks or longer? Or maybe you'd just like to sleep really late and take naps.

I find frustration and loss of control over my life causes anger to simmer and some level of depression to raise its head. I don't have real depression that needs medication.

Women are taught to control anger, so we can't always, or maybe ever, yell at the people who are at the cause of our frustrations. Family and friends often do things to frustrate us, and because they are family or friends we can't yell at them about or throw things at them. Women are peace keepers and moms and "nice" people who hold things inside.

One frustration for me comes from my hearing loss. Friends have even asked why I don't just get a new hearing aid so they wouldn't have to deal with my problem. That's mean of me. They felt my pain and thought a new aid would let me hear better and feel less left out and confused. See? I have to try to put a positive spin on things.

When I don't hear or understand what a person says, I hate to ask that person to repeat what I didn't get. Maybe I heard most of a comment or explanation but not all of it.

Do you know someone who makes you repeat everything you say? Love it don't you? The eye rolls and heavy sighs aren't because you find repeating things once or twice or more a pain, a bother, are they? Of course they are. We people who can't hear should just get help. I've had hearing aids for around fifteen years and they aren't cheap. They sometimes whistle and chirp and some people won't wear them once they get them.

Once I decided I'd need to get a hearing aid for the ear I had considered my good one, I researched the cost of a pair or one to give me one good hearing ear. After finding several so expensive I wanted to throw up on the salesmen's desks, I found a better price at a discount club, a hearing aid that didn't cost as much as an economy car. Good, cause I needed two aids.

I went for a hearing test, prepared to order a set. Now I HATE having anything in my ear, so wearing one for the past fifteen years hasn't been a picnic. The decision to have a plug for both ears wasn't easy. That raised my crap mood but I figured hearing better would improve it.

That led to two visits to one ENT doctor before the hearing aid tech would make test my hearing.
This gave me more time to let the world around me fade when I became frustrated with people who mumble and whisper to keep me from hearing things. Just kidding.

Once I sat through the hearing tests the tech sent me back to the ENT doc to see if there might be a surgery to help me hear a little better. He sent me to another specialist. We're talking weeks to think about possibilities and costs and get appointments and think about possibilities and costs some more. Well, after more than a month I ordered two instruments of torture that should let me hear better again.

Here's hoping when I finally get the new gadgets in ten days and learn to use them my mood will be less crappy.

Oh, since I was raised to think that no matter what my problems are there are people with worse ones. That means my mood has to be better.

Remember, if you know an old man who can't hear thunder, he might have hearing aids he hates at home or he might prefer the world quiet with fewer people complaining. His battery might be dead or the aid might be old or...

Just tap him so he will face you and speak slowly so he can hear better. Flatter him, too since men hear what they want to. Those techniques work on me, too, except the selective hearing.

I'll add a link for my article on hearing problems and how to work with people with them.
Have a great day and speak slowly and loudly. People who hear well will think you've lost your mind.


  1. Mona Risk // April 27, 2008 at 10:02 PM  


    I had this problem since seventh grade when an idiot of doctor prescribed streptomycin aplenty to treat simple colds. This medicine affects the seventh cranial nerve, the one that's responsible for hearing. I felt so bad about my hearing lost, I did my best to hide it, but my close friends obviously knew. I went through high school and school of pharmacy counting on my friends to help when I missed words during lectures. And I studied twice as hard as others to compensate.

    Often I can't hear well when we are in a public place or a restaurant with background noise. I tried hearing aids when I got my first job but I was so terrified people would find out I never wore them.

    Yes I make people repeat what they say and I raise the volume of the TV.

    When I was in school my friends called me a nerd because I was often in my own corner. Later in college or at work, they thought I was shy or arrogant. It didn't stop me from having a successful career as a chemist. But it took so much work.

    My hearing problem increased ten years ago when I fell from the stairs a whole flight and ended up with a concussion for a long time. I have a hearing aid now, but I wore it only during meetings, conferences or on Sundays to hear the priest's homily. I don't think it works well. It just amplifies words and background alike, although I have one of the most expensive ones. It's the first time I acknowledge my problem publicly.

  2. Beth Trissel // April 27, 2008 at 10:12 PM  

    I have some hearing loss in one ear and I'm not sure why--have for years. Now, I wonder about all those antibiotics from childhood too. Also, seems worse since I had so much trouble with vertigo a few years back. I haven't asked about a hearing aid yet, but sometimes wonder if I should.
    Thanks for posting, Mary, and for your sharing Mona. I guess we have all sorts of issues in common.

  3. Mary Marvella // April 27, 2008 at 11:49 PM  

    Ladies, I've had several aids. If they are the right kind they should help you. If the pair from Costco work I'll shot it to the roof tops and the tech there will get tons of good publicity.

    My current one helped at first Did I post the hearing thing? If I didn't I will.

    Hearing aids don't cure anything but they help level the playing field. If you haven't had an ENT or an ear specialist evaluate your hearing lately, DO IT! The test today can isolate the kind of loss you have and might find there is help now that there wasn't five years ago.

    If there isn't a hearing aid that can help me hear adequately, surgery is a possibility. Expensive yes, but a possibility. It wouldn't make it all better and I'd still need a hearing aid, but I'm tired of feeling out of touch so much of the time. I'm 65 but I love people and being part if everything!

  4. Miss Mae // April 28, 2008 at 8:25 AM  

    Oh, can I relate to this!! I have a significant hearing loss, and all the techs say I read lips. I know I do better when folks are facing me and I catch myself watching their mouths. What's so funny is, when I tell folks I have a hearing loss, this look of shock comes across their face and they say, "I never knew that. You don't speak like you do."...LOL...I never say I have a problem with my tongue, it's with my EARS!!!

    I've worn hearing aids--as long as I can afford them, sometimes I can't--for over 30 years now. They help me greatly. However, they also amplify the noise that makes hearing difficult in the first place. I'd rather have my aids than without. I must use them on the telephone, but despise using the phone. Even when I tell the person on the other end that they need to speak louder, it's still such a mental struggle to grasp their words, I break into a sweat.

    I took a course in Sign language. Unfortunately, my hubby and daughter wouldn't learn, so...*sigh*...Yet, I feel that will eventually become a necessity.

    Does anyone miss, or confuse, the words "cough" and "coffee"? I do. When I'm in a conversation, I must be mentally alert to try and keep ahead of how the subject's leading, so I can answer appropriately. But if I mishear, and give a reply to what I THINK I heard, then the other person gives the weirdest look like I just stepped off the planet Pluto.

    Ah, well, it's all part of what makes life interesting, eh?

    Miss Mae

  5. Misc. Muse // April 28, 2008 at 9:03 AM  

    Mary- I worked as a speech therapy aid before kids- I did the lip reading and all that with people. It's too bad people have to take advantage and charge so much. I am surprised my hearing loss isn't get worse- ear infection for yrs- meds never worked finally cleared up on its own. I hope never to have hearing aid, we will see. Meantime I hope you can find something you can afford.

  6. Beth Trissel // April 28, 2008 at 11:27 AM  

    Very interesting, ladies. Getting an official hearing test is now on my list of things to do ASAP.

  7. Mary Marvella // April 28, 2008 at 5:28 PM  

    There are different kinds of hearing loss. My hearing tech at Costco insisted I have wax cleaned from my ears before we did the tests. I had a lot on my ear drum. Not one of the ENT audiologists ever suggested we step next door in the same office and clean out the wax they saw in my ears. My ear passages are narrow and technology lets the docs see the drum now.

    NEVER admit you've used a Q-tip to an ENT unless there is likely evidence to give you away.

  8. Nightingale // April 29, 2008 at 10:53 AM  

    I hadn't posted because I'm in denial. What did you say? I empathize with you Mary for the hearing impairment AND that sometimes these blue days catch us without any armor. Music helps my blues, and scented candles. A great movie or an old favorite book (with the music and scented candles). This writing business, as great as it is, is hard on the ego and hope.