Hi everyone,
Thanksgiving is near, and I wanted to share some of Dave Barry's thoughts regarding how we should select that special turkey. Hope you have a giggle and enjoy!

"The American Poultry Manufacturers of America stress that, in selecting a Thanksgiving turkey, the No. 1 rule is, quote, "It should be a dead turkey." Look for one that has been frozen solid enough to deflect a .38-caliber bullet; if it doesn't, put it right back into the freezer and fire into the supermarket ceiling until the Poultry Manager brings you something more acceptable."


  1. Judy // November 7, 2010 at 1:25 PM  

    Cute...He's so funny! Thanks for the laugh!

  2. Mary Marvella // November 7, 2010 at 2:31 PM  

    I'll remember those instructions! Thanks!

  3. Barbara Monajem // November 7, 2010 at 3:23 PM  

    Dead. Check. Frozen. Probably. No Feathers. Let's hope so. Thanks, Joanne.

  4. Patrice // November 7, 2010 at 4:21 PM  

    Oh, Joanne,
    And I was hoping for a new, possibly great way to cook my dead bird! Oh, well. At least I don't have to shoot it.

  5. Scarlet Pumpernickel // November 7, 2010 at 10:11 PM  

    Too funny! Everyone has had a time when they'd like to shoot at someone in the grocery store! Those prices just keep climbing. And have you noticed the package sizes is shrinking? Yep, they figure out another way to slip on by us.

  6. Autumn Jordon // November 8, 2010 at 7:47 AM  

    CHUCKLE. Love Dave.

  7. Nightingale // November 8, 2010 at 9:31 AM  

    I needed a good laugh this morning. Kind of going on a turkey shoot at Kroger!

  8. Joanne // November 8, 2010 at 11:23 AM  

    I agree. He is too funny!

  9. Joanne // November 8, 2010 at 11:24 AM  

    Those instructions are the best. Dead and frozen. :)

  10. Joanne // November 8, 2010 at 11:24 AM  

    LOL! Yes, at least we don't have to shoot it.

  11. Joanne // November 8, 2010 at 11:25 AM  

    You're so right. Prices just keep going up and up. That's why I'm always scouring the internet for our daily deals.

  12. Joanne // November 8, 2010 at 11:26 AM  

    I'm with you. I love anything Dave Barry writes.

  13. Joanne // November 8, 2010 at 11:27 AM  

    Too funny. A turkey shoot at our local grocery store. Such a clear image comes to mind!

  14. Joanne // November 8, 2010 at 11:43 AM  

    Put a check mark by thawing. That's the longest step besides cooking the turkey.

  15. Mary Ricksen // November 8, 2010 at 5:24 PM  

    My kinda guy!

  16. Joanne // November 9, 2010 at 8:01 PM  

    My kinda guy, too, Mary. R!