IPink and Red, Stay in Bed!

Posted by Liz Jasper | 11:31 AM | 10 comments »

No, I don't mean THAT--get your mind out of the gutter! I'm saying Valentine's day is a menace and all sane people should avoid it like the plague.

Am I the only one who feels the day should be banned?

I've never liked it. When I was single, I whined and moaned about the cards I didn't receive, felt like a failure because I didn't have anyone to send me overpriced flowers, and consoled myself with the proactive step of buying my own darn chocolates and gaining ten pounds in...victory. When I was dating, my thrill lasted until I bent my head to smell the bouquet and discovered, upon closer examination, the roses were invariably brown and bit crusted on the edges and smelled like...nothing. And now that I'm married and know how much those stupid flowers cost, I resent the purchase...and yet if my husband actually listens to my pre-V-day whining and doesn't get me anything, I'm crushed. Crushed! How stupid is that?

Some would call this clear evidence of the fickleness of women. I think the Valentine's day promotion is to blame--nothing can be as good as the hallmark commercial. And if something seems too good to be true, maybe it is.

If only Jo Gartner of UNDERDEAD had stuck to her guns the first time she sees Will...

Flickering lights from the dance floor slid over his chiseled features, briefly illuminating strong cheekbones before getting lost in the dark hollows below. He had one of those long, lean bodies, with just the right amount of muscle, and dark, slightly wavy hair that hung to his shoulders in a way that made my stomach lurch.

As if sensing my regard, he suddenly turned his head from the shadows and looked directly at me. I did an embarrassing deer-in-the-headlights thing and our eyes locked. His eyes were the most gorgeous blue I’d ever seen. I mean piercingly blue. Meltingly blue. A sharp desire to be closer to him slammed me like a wave.

He was gorgeous. Too gorgeous. Sanity returned. I turned my back to him.

"No way,” I said. “There’s something wrong with him.”

“What? What is wrong with him?” Carol demanded.

“He’s boring, he’s vain, he has six wives in various countries, he lives in a yurt with fifteen Chihuahuas, he sells deodorant for a living—I don’t know, but no one can be that good-looking and have a personality.”

“Oh, for goodness sake!” Carol said. “What a load of crap! Stop inventing reasons to avoid talking to him. If you want to forgo meeting fabulous men to sit here with the likes of us for the rest of your life, be my guest.” Her glasses had slid down her nose and she glared over the top of them at me.

“What she said,” Becky added. “Though I don’t know why you’d even care if he has thirty wives and eats deodorant for a living. You don’t need to have him around for scintillating conversation—look at him! He’s so hot he doesn’t need a personality. What do you want to talk to him for anyway?”

“Gotta love liberated women,” I muttered. “Equal opportunity chauvinism.”

2008 EPPIE Award nominated UNDERDEAD is hot off the press in paperback!

"Light-hearted mystery with a touch of the paranormal nad a hint of romance is a recipe for a just about perfect read." ~~Huntress Reviews

I say take control of Valentine's day--buy yourself a good book and a box of chocolates and you'll know you'll have fun!

For reviews and all of chapter one, visit my website: www.lizjasper.com


  1. Beth Trissel // February 14, 2008 at 4:03 PM  

    Very funny, as usual, Liz. And I agree with you. :)
    Ever since my treasured box of valentines blew away in a gust of wind and didn't make it home from sixth grade, I've felt nothing could equal my lost treasure. Plus, I have a very absentminded husband. He did win a radio contest once and roses were delivered to my door by the DJ.

  2. Liz Jasper // February 14, 2008 at 4:56 PM  

    Beth--that brings back similar memories and made me laugh--as I shook my head and rolled my eyes. Both stories are just SOOOO classically par for the course on V day. Stinking Valentine's day! Thanks for the giggle. : )

  3. Beth Trissel // February 15, 2008 at 10:03 AM  

    Glad you got a chuckle out of my 'classically par for the course stories,' as you so aptly put it. More where those came from. Hey, you should join in the random exchange on Linda's Cardinal Desires Amazon page, under Amanda Richards review. What a hoot. she's quite the wit! She'd be the reviewer with 45+ comments!

  4. Georgie Lee // February 15, 2008 at 1:13 PM  

    I enjoy 2/15 when I can buy all the Valentine's Day chocolate on clearance

  5. Beth Trissel // February 15, 2008 at 1:35 PM  

    Chocolate on sale! Slaps hand to forehead, "Now, why didn't I think of that!"

  6. Misc. Muse // February 15, 2008 at 3:54 PM  

    actually, I use Valentines Day to tell family members how treasured they are, and close friends. Who says it is only for romantics. I did fix my dh his favorite dinner and make him a bunch of cards. I still had flowers he brought me last week- it was Happy Friday. He's gotten me mostly flowers on Valentine's - which I love- this time of yr I've had enough of winter, and flowers are wonderful pick me up.

  7. Nightingale // February 15, 2008 at 5:57 PM  

    Loved the excerpt! And the witty lead in. Liz, I am right there with you on "Don't buy me anything" until they don't!

  8. Mary Marvella // February 16, 2008 at 11:56 PM  

    Loved the clever tie in, Liz.

    Hey, I always buy my chocolate after a holiday. Tastes better when I know I got bargains! I have Christmas chocolate that was 75% off in my freezer.

  9. Beth Trissel // February 17, 2008 at 10:11 PM  

    But if it isn't rich DARK chocolate, I can pass.

  10. Helen Scott Taylor // February 18, 2008 at 4:36 AM  

    Equal opportunity chauvinism. LOL

    Your dialogue is so funny, Liz.