Learning to Let go

Posted by Hildie McQueen | 5:00 AM | , , | 16 comments »

Learning to let go. 

Have we all not heard the cliché phrase, “if you love something let it go, if it returns it’s yours if it doesn’t, I never was?” That my friends, is a lesson I am in the process of learning yet again. 
When you love someone, it’s natural to step in front of him or her and try to protect them from what we see as a mistake or a dangerous situation.  That is what we’re supposed to do is it not?  I’d want someone to let me know how much they love me by doing that for me. 


Maybe, it’s not truly what love is about.  Sometimes we need to love someone enough to step aside, to wait on the sideline.  Maybe we prove our love by not stopping them as they walk away, but instead to allow them the space to find the answers for themselves.
I remind myself during times like these, that everyone has a destiny, a path they must embark upon in order to learn whatever lesson God has for them.  It’s not up to me to decide which ‘mistakes’ they should avoid or what decisions they should make.
Then one day I may stand with my arms around them and either comfort them after the fall or congratulate them for their successes.  Either way, my only job is to love.
All of us go through the goodbye process sooner or later.  Whether it is a friend moving, a lover breaking our heart, a child bound for college or an older relative crossing to the other side.  Each time, pain and grief for our loss encompasses us for a time. 
Whether for a long or short time, I am convinced that to hold on to the pain and not allow ourselves to instead concentrate on the good times, the fun experiences with them or the lessons they taught us while in our life we are not being fair to them, or ourselves either.
One day I will perfect the art of letting go, the grace of moving out of the way and maintaining a positive attitude in the knowledge that God is always in control, not them and certainly not me.



  1. Beth Trissel // December 7, 2011 at 7:32 AM  

    What a beautiful post, Hildie. Thanks for such a needed reminder. I hate change and letting go is very hard for me. So is trusting God as I should. You stated this so well.

  2. Joanne Stewart // December 7, 2011 at 9:10 AM  

    Yup, it's a lesson I'm learning too. I don't do well with change either or letting go. Wonderful post.

  3. Mary Marvella // December 7, 2011 at 11:06 AM  

    You are so right! Sometimes we must step back and wait for a signal we are needed.

    I am a safety net for my daughter. She pushes me back a few steps so she can do things on her own, knowing I am only a text, a call away. All I need is the text "I need my mama." or "What are you doing today?" to know it's Mama time. When she's better, she lets me know I can back away again.

  4. Hildie McQueen // December 7, 2011 at 11:22 AM  

    I am glad to be in such good company.

  5. Loren Caldon // December 7, 2011 at 11:46 AM  

    Great piece! Teary-eyed & so true. Us humans, we form attachments, thts what we do.. it's hw we were created, but inspite of ourselves we need to reach this place of acceptance when the tme comes 2 let go..nevr easy but evry tme very necessary. My mom alwys said..let go & let God. I try.

  6. Mary Ricksen // December 7, 2011 at 12:00 PM  

    Sounds like you just had to let one of your baby birds fly.
    Isn't it beautiful and remarkable!
    And yes a touch sad...

  7. Mary Marvella // December 7, 2011 at 1:37 PM  

    When our kids hurt, we want to fix it. Sometimes we just can't and maybe we shouldn't.

  8. Hildie McQueen // December 7, 2011 at 2:29 PM  

    Yes a baby bird and a good friend. That's what life is about, change.

  9. Judy // December 7, 2011 at 3:38 PM  

    So true Hildie....if we do not step out of the way...will they ever grow, become the person God intended them to be? You are awesome, my friend.

  10. Connie Gillam // December 7, 2011 at 5:17 PM  

    A beautiful post, Hildie. You're so right, sometimes we can only watch and allow them to make their own mistakes. It hurts. I still trying to learn to do that.

  11. Pamela Varnado // December 7, 2011 at 7:15 PM  

    Learning to let go. Oh, what a hard thing to do. I'm working on letting go of some of the coping skills I developed as a child. They are not needed anymore, but have become a permanent fixture in my daily life.

  12. Kathy Princess // December 7, 2011 at 8:18 PM  

    What a sweet insight. Such a sharp but tender piece of advice.

  13. Nightingale // December 8, 2011 at 9:46 AM  

    I was very moved by this post and I am so glad I stopped by to be reminded about the true nature of love--and life.

  14. Scarlet Pumpernickel // December 8, 2011 at 10:03 PM  

    Turning loose and stepping back is incredibly hard for me. I guess I'm something of a control freak and over protective momma, grandmomma, and wife. I forget they can do things without me. This last six months has been very difficult due to health issues and I've sometimes had to shove my baby bird out of the nest because I wasn't able to watch over her. She turned the tables on me and took over the momma bird role, amazing. I didn't realize she'd gotten so mature!

  15. Autumn Jordon // December 8, 2011 at 10:28 PM  

    Heart touching post. I'm also one to hold on, but I've learned this value lesson and now step aside and wait. Thanks for letting me know, I don't wait alone.

  16. Josie // December 12, 2011 at 2:46 PM  

    What a beautiful message, and oh-so difficult to let go. Yes, God is always in control.