Today's topic on health and beauty is... snorkeling. What? It fits. Paddling around in turquoise, bathtub-warm water is healthy (at least until you get out, hungry, and down a couple handfuls of deliciously melty chocolate covered macadamia nuts). And if you haven't seen yellow tangs and Moorish idols (think Willem Dafoe’s scarred, ocean lusting Gill in Finding Nemo) swimming amid the coral under a Hawaiian sun, you don't know what beauty is. Even the unique to Hawaii humuhumu-nukunuku-apua’as (pronounced, at least by my family, hoomoo hoomoo nookoo nookoo apoo ahpah) are beautiful too, in a What was that? Picasso cubism sort of way.

But to understand what beauty is, it's also important to understand what it's not. And so I, valiant reporter, took it upon myself to travel to Hawaii and push the boundaries of beauty, attractiveness and good taste, all for the good of the Pink Fuzzy Slipper Writers. By which I mean I joined the beautiful people laying out on the postcard perfect beaches in designer swimsuits and a deep, golden tan you just can't get out of a bottle. Only I was wearing SPF 45 (hey, I burn), rubber-ducky-yellow flippers, and a snorkel and mask.

One can identify the latest beauty ideals by watching the trends. And given the number of people bobbing face down in the water with me vs. those napping beachside on loungers, I can only conclude that snorkel-wear is HOT.

A backside several shades darker than your front and quite possibly sun burnt? Gorgeous. And oddly-lispy voice from holding a snorkel between your teeth for an hour? Sexy. Deeply imprinted mask marks in a wide circle encompassing your forehead, eyes and nose? Stunning. Coming out of the water with liquid snot pouring out your nose from the saltwater? Beauty.

I'm so new at this blogging thing I squeak, but I do have a few helpful beauty hints

Dry lips? Many of us have dry lips. They can be caused by medications, allergies to lip products, constant licking , and/or our choice of toothpaste.

If you feel lipstick is the culprit, consider how the lipstick smells and tastes. If the lipstick smells pretty, you should avoid using it for a few days. You can use a vitamin E stick or a lip balm under your lipstick. Using mat or long wearing lipsticks can cause your lips to dry out as can using your lip pencil over the entire lip. Look at the ingredients for drying chemicals.

If you have tried every brand of lipstick available, you might try switching your toothpaste. Products that whiten teeth likely contain soda and/or other drying chemicals. Strong mouthwashes dry lips and gums, too.

If you aren't willing to change toothpaste, you need to keep as little toothpaste on your lips as possible. You could coat your lips with rich lotions, vitamin E or A products or aloe before you brush and afterwards.

Have questions? Ask away.

We are a quirky group of romance and mystery novelists who blog in the style of an off-center woman's magazine.

The membership cap for columnists is 15. If we are full and you'd like to join, we do have a waiting list. You must be a romance or mystery writer to be considered.

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