Learning Not To Quit

On

e day I got up and had no where to go. I had just left my job and I thought I'd be really happy about it. But, I felt as if I was in a place where I had no way to use my brain. I was kinda lost. What was my purpose now? I was purposeless!
I stood on a bridge with no place to go. I had no goals, no new people, no job, no life, nothing.

For over thirty years I had worked in medical and finally in dental offices. My boss was crazy in my last job. That's a book in itself. He was totally inconsiderate of any one else in the world. He had an abusive nature. The first day I saw a clipping on his desk. He had settled in a case of assult with a former assistant. Ha, I thought try that one me bucko! One time he did, we were outside arguing over the way he treated people. Yes, it's true. He kinda got in my face and I shoved him, he hit the door behind him and had a look of shock on his face. I was sure I could take the little weisel so I said. "Try it, just try it, I'd love to beat the crap outta you."Now those of you who know me, know I am not at all confrontational in a physical way. But the look on his face was worth every second of it. So he always respected me and I never took any nonsense from him. I was always stopping him from something. One day a guy came to the front desk. Apparently his wife had been offended by something the dentist said. So he came in to beat the doctor up. I said to him. "Listen, you have a wife and kids, if you beat him up you will go to jail. I believe in karma, he will get it someday." He thanked me and left.



This stuff happened every day. Why did I stay? We needed the money. He paid me very, very, well. I hate to say it, but that's why. I like to think I helped people. He did excellent work, he was just born an ass. Yes, the donkey, sorry to offend anyone. Yes, I hated my job, but I couldn't afford not to work there. I paid a high emotional price for it.



So here I am at home. Bored and wondering if I had any purpose in life. I don't know why, but something made me start writing again. And I thought maybe, just maybe I could finish one of those stories I started. Then I started to think about where I was happiest. That was on the lake in Vermont. What if one traveled back in time?
There is a saying the old Vermonter's have about the lake. It goes something like this:

The wind she blow on Lake Champlain, the wind she blow some more.
If you do not want to drown, you'd best to stay on shore.


I always loved it there and I started to imagine. What if?
Now we have no children, not for want of trying. I felt like a failure, I had no purpose, no special talent. I could always sing, played the guitar, made stained glass pieces, painted, and every other thing I tried. I was always okay but never excelled. I wanted to excel, I wanted to leave my mark behind somehow. Then I got to thinking, someday someone will read my book, maybe ten years from now, and I would be remembered. I could excel, I could publish a book. I'd write a time travel romance novel. I musta read thousands of them. I knew I could write fairly well, but could I do it? Could I write a romance about life over a hundred years ago. Would anybody care?

So I wrote a book. Ha, at least I thought I did. Then I heard about critiquing and suddenly realized I had a lot to learn. So I read everything I could and I sucked it all in. The I wrote some more. Now I had the idea, well basically anyways. I'm still learning every day.
The day I got offered a contract, I could not believe it. I still don't, pinch me so I can wake up. My skepticism just wouldn't let me enjoy the moment. When would they take it all back. And then I got my book in the mail. I opened the box and there it was. It had my name on it.

I was so thrilled. Here in front of me was my own book.


I didn't believe it. It wasn't real still to me. While others were doing the dance of joy, I was doing the, no one will like it. Fear reared it's ugly head again. I had to fight it back. The friends I have in the Florida Romance Writers, The Pink Fuzzy Slipper Writers, The Author Roast and Toast and the other Wild Rose Press authors, all helped me to find the courage to promote.

So here I am at a book signing with best selling author Traci Hall. Gosh I think I've come a long, long, way. And I'm still going! I am hoping to get a contract for my second book very soon.
It just proves to me that learning not to quit is the only way to make it.