I subscribe to a Zen of the Day quote loop. Today’s quote is We cannot see our reflection...

     My first thoughts were what the heck does that mean? Every time I look in the mirror or see my reflection in the still waters of a pond, I see my smiling face. I had to search deeper to discover how that quote was relevant to my life.

     It’s three weeks into January and for some of us the resolutions and goals we set for ourselves have become just desires we don’t act upon. I made a resolution in 2010 to put my butt in my office chair and write six days a week. Did I succeed?

     No. Well, why not?

     Because I didn’t see my reflection in my goals. In other words I didn’t understand why I wanted to achieve them. Thoughts of becoming rich and famous didn’t motivate me. Neither did the idea that storytelling is in my blood so I must write every day or I won’t find any peace.

     I had to dig deeper.

     I asked myself, “What did I want from life?” And even deeper, “What will enhance the quality of my life?” My answers surprised me. None of them were self-centered. I realized I have to help others to find peace and achieve their dreams, because when the people (and that includes you) I love are content, I’m happy.

    My life started out on a rocky path, and I’ve had some challenges along the way. But God blessed me with a gift for writing stories. And that gift is my reflection. So how do I show it to others?

     First, I have to slow down and live in the present moment. I only have control over the decision I make this second.

     Second, I have to surrender that decision to the universe. This means I no longer worry about past rejections or future sales. I keep my attention on helping others.

     And third, trust that when the time is right, my work will be rewarded, my dreams fulfilled.

     This year I’m working on my romantic suspense series which I hope will entertain. I’m also writing a memoir to celebrate how the struggles in my life aren’t really a hardship but my pathway to becoming the best person I can become.

     Before I close, I want to remind you to honor your successes. I did achieve some goals in 2010. I sold an erotic paranormal story After Glow to Wild Rose Press (http://www.thewilderroses.com) and continued to enjoy a wonderful fellowship with my family and friends.

     Now it’s your turn. How do you plan to see your reflection?


  1. Mary Marvella // January 18, 2011 at 10:40 PM  

    What a thought provoking blog. Hmmm. Thanks!

  2. Scarlet Pumpernickel // January 18, 2011 at 10:46 PM  

    Pam, right now the water is so muddy and the mirror so fogged that I don't have a clue. But, when the dust settles and it will, then I'll get my head back on straight and figure out how to see my reflection.

  3. Beth Trissel // January 18, 2011 at 11:04 PM  

    What a lovely thoughtful post. I saw parts of myself in this.

  4. Judy // January 19, 2011 at 10:03 AM  

    Pam, I loved your post! So thought provoking! I do see that writing is a part of me-it's making the things that happen around me become something others can enjoy or learn from or think about. I feel that I have a responsibility to use what talents I have to give pleasure to others. "It's all about me" just never works...

  5. Dale Mayer // January 19, 2011 at 11:17 AM  

    Love this blog. Then I'm one of those think deeper kind of people. The phrase - Because I didn’t see my reflection in my goals - I'm putting this on my sticky notes!

    I have to work on recognizing my achievements more and easing up my expectations.

  6. Pamela Varnado // January 19, 2011 at 12:50 PM  

    Mary, I was hoping this would touch the reader and make them really consider why they're throwing themselves into churning waters of publishing.

  7. Pamela Varnado // January 19, 2011 at 12:51 PM  

    Scarlett, things will calm down. Just life life one second at a time.

  8. Pamela Varnado // January 19, 2011 at 12:53 PM  

    Beth, I'm glad I was able to help touch you personally.

  9. Pamela Varnado // January 19, 2011 at 12:56 PM  

    Judy, when we focus on others rather than ourselves it gives our life purpose. It connects us universally as a race.

  10. Pamela Varnado // January 19, 2011 at 1:22 PM  

    Dale, I've always been a deep thinker. Fullfilling my life's purpose keeps me motivated.

  11. Carol Burnside // January 19, 2011 at 1:28 PM  

    Very interesting. You made me think. (ouch!) LOL

    I guess I just want to give others the pleasure I've enjoyed for many years through reading. If I can transport others to another world for awhile - let them escape - then I will have succeeded.

  12. Pamela Varnado // January 19, 2011 at 2:09 PM  

    Carol, you understand that success can be defined not just by how much money you have in the bank or how famous you are. It's about doing the things that bring joy into the lives of others. Providing an entertaining escape is just what some people need. Trust me, I know.

  13. Tamara LeBlanc // January 19, 2011 at 3:29 PM  

    A wise woman once told me, achieve your goals one day at a time...that woman was Pamela Varnado:)
    And here it is, a wonderful blog post that reminds me to do just that, accomplish my desires one day at a time.
    I loved how you used the word reflection. You're right, it's imperative we see ourselves within our most pressing, and heartfelt goals. If we aren't a part of our goals, the bones and flesh and blood of our goals, we will never be able to breathe life into them. And without life, a goal is just a wish printed on paper.
    thank you for reminding us of this, Pamela.
    I treasure your wisdom...always.
    Hugs, and have a wonderful evening!

  14. Connie Gillam // January 19, 2011 at 3:43 PM  

    That's deep, Pam.

    I'll have to look for my own reflection. I kind of know what I need to do. I just have to do it.

    You have always had a generous nature. Good things will come to you.

  15. Nancy // January 19, 2011 at 3:58 PM  

    Hi, Pamela--I hadn't thought of "reflections" that way, but it resonates. I plan to go through this cluttered house and get rid of stuff. If the house reflects our minds, our minds are in trouble!

    Good luck with resolutions.

  16. Pamela Varnado // January 19, 2011 at 4:12 PM  

    Tamara, you have such a wonderful way of expressing yourself. Your inner spirit always shines through. I cherish each moment we spend critiquing, brainstorming, or just hanging out and sharing a delicious meal.

  17. Pamela Varnado // January 19, 2011 at 4:19 PM  

    Nancy, I can't function around clutter. When I enter a room and see things out of place, I can't think straight. The mess in the room somehow clutters the thoughts in my mind.

  18. Barbara Monajem // January 19, 2011 at 7:08 PM  

    I hope my messy house doesn't reflect the internal me! Thanks for the Zen post, Pam.

  19. Pamela Varnado // January 19, 2011 at 8:01 PM  

    I'm sure it doesn't Barbara. We all respond differently to things. That's what makes us special.

  20. Nightingale // January 19, 2011 at 8:15 PM  

    I agree with MM, very thought-provoking. Thanks for reminding us to honor our successes. I tend to minimize mine. Lately I haven't been able to write so I've been wondering if that is my true reflection. Maybe I'll take up something easy -- like the piano!! ha ha (I know that is VERY difficult)

  21. Tami Brothers // January 19, 2011 at 8:21 PM  

    Love this, Pam!!!! You really hit home for me. I try to do just what you said but I can see where I am coming up short. I think I need to dig just a little bit deeper to see what I'm really trying to accomplish right now.

    Thanks for this insight into your reflection.


  22. Joanne // January 23, 2011 at 3:12 PM  

    You obviously have a wonderful gift. Your thought-inspiring reflections was a lovely post.