I am sorry to be late posting this. But, I just got back from the Hospice hospital.
Hospice is a support group for those who are dying. They have a Hospice hospital here in West Palm Beach and it's almost like a motel room. You can stay over, come in at any time, or even bring your ill relatives dog to visit.
My husband and I have been dealing with his very sick brother. He is not that old, but has really abused his body to the point where his liver is at end stage. Four days ago, they handed us the names of funeral homes, told us to straiten his affairs and say goodbye.
Then I told his 96 year old aunt he was dying. She said don't worry, I am gonna pray for him. Now I was raised Catholic and I believe in God, there has to be something that made our universe. Well at least in my mind, it had to start somewhere. But I never believed prayer helped other then to comfort the prayer. She told her gazillion kids who had masses said and added their prayers.
Every day we visited him and he was barely aware, if at all, of what was going on. He was bleeding internally and over the course of a few days they had given him close to 30 pints of blood. They said he would bleed out because the liver produces clotting factor and he had none. Chris cried, I have never seen him do that.before. Even if his brother did drugs he still loves him. I could tell you things he's done that would curl your hair.
Well yesterday he was sitting up and eating a burger and fries. Huh?? I thought he'd be dead. They said no one comes back from a place that far gone. He cannot move his legs and they don't know why. But he asked for chocolate and is calling us every ten minutes. They told us he was stable and wouldn't get any better, when he became conscious. They were gonna feed him through a tube. But sent him a tray and I fed him. Yesterday he was eating by himself.
Now my point is this. There has to be some power in prayer, because for him to come back from deaths door and eat is a miracle. And miracles must have something to do with a higher power in my mind. So I am rethinking the prayer thing. Heck I might even go to church soon. I could use some help. I think I'm gonna call his aunt and tell her to pray for me too!Something happened that gave him more time. He is still very ill and they feel he might die, but now they are not sure it will be right away and we will have to put him in a rehab place eventually. Who knows he might go home someday and I can give him back his beautiful German Shepherd dog. Two dogs that big is really hard on me. You just never know. Where is God? In your heart always if you believe...
Miracles do happen don't they?!?!

When I last left the story I was wondering if air in the IV line would kill me. Well it won't, it has to be a very large amount of air. Little bubbles and air won't hurt you. Now the picture is my husband taking pictures. Yes I know you all are thinking, WHAT? Is she crazy? No just sick, as you can see I am reaching for the bucket. I thought about the frying pan again, but he was behaving so well. The man who never did a thing without cajoling, was worried and scared for me. He washed my back, my hair and gave me the bed bath the nurses never give anymore. I was shocked as he sat rubbing my head and I did my best not to smack him, because he meant well. Far be it from me to discourage him being there for me. Because I was so sick, it touched me.
But the camera, I wanted to hurt him. With some kind of stick or something.
I made the mistake of sending this picture to my cousin, who promptly put my head in a video that was annoying. I'll get her back some other time.
Anyways back to the hospital.
Finally after giving me other stuff that did nothing they gave me Compazine and some strong pain killer, morphine I think. It took away some of the pain and nausea. I was so grateful for the relief of feeling so bad. I slept for three days, not eating and only getting up to go to the bathroom. Dragging those IV things is a PIA. They only had to change my IV site once, but my veins were all hiding and it was a painful and long process which left me with golf ball sized lumps all over my arms. Finally they found one and it was back to sleep.
Now mind you Chris is back at the cabin. No TV, no computer, nothing. I think he learned to appreciate me on a new level this trip. He needs me. He can't make it without me. Hmmmmmm... There was a time that would thrill me, now I wanna puke even more. The man cannot take care of himself. But he is good when he has to be. So it's a toss up. Yes, he loves me too. He tells me so. No no flowers, but my dishwasher has been repaired oodles of times. And he does things in his own way.
They kept waking me up to give me medication and they were so nice. This brand new hospital had 23 beds of which two were now taken. Me and some poor old guy who screamed his head off all day and nite, I had to close my door he yelled so bad. Turns out he had what I had and was as most men are a whusses with pain. I wanted to scream but the worst I did was pant, rock and moan quietly. In hindsight I should have yelled. All the nurse said to me was to stop hyperventilating, him they helped just to shut him up. Hmmmmm...
Chris visited too much, yes that's what I said, too much. He was bored, hence the camera. He also had some need to keep a record of my sickness. I have no clue why. His smile for the picture comments made me more ill. I just wanted to sleep.
There were two very nice nurses who rolled me outside to see my love muffin doggie, Junior. He was so glad to see me, lots of dog kisses and hugs...
It seemed like forever and one day rolled into the next so that I didn't know the time or date sometimes. I didn't care either. They would bring me trays of chemical tasting jello, broth that tased like dishwater and a small can of sprite. Yuk! Never touched the stuff. Even today I am still on a very bland diet. Slowly I felt better, enough to leave and see my regular doctor. Looking forward to that, he never even remembers my name. I feel so safe with my MD, NOT. He is so darn busy he couldn't remember all of the patients he has. Some 3,000 he says. I have to tell him the same stuff every time I see him.
So time to go home! Or at least back to the cabin. The weather was still cold, which I normally relish. But being sick and weak I was extra cold and when we got to the cabin the electricity was out. Ouch! Cold and dark, thank God for the fire.
What else could go wrong. I never should have uttered those words.
I slept some more and watched the leaves as their beautiful myriad colors changed the landscape into a mystical place that I find the peace I always look for in. The reason I go to NC is because it's so wonderful. In the town of Bryson City you step back into the past. My favorite thing, loving time travel, is the past. It's so quiet and I am reminded of the beautiful pictures that my friend Beth Trissel posts of her home. There is just something so special about the mountains. There the past weaves tales that writers share with us. The future weaves itself.
While I was in the hospital and people called I was too tired to answer. Now my cell phone is not getting any reception!!! NOoooooo! My last link with family and friends is useless, unless we go to town. I knew I shouldn't have said those words. Was that it? Were my three touches with bad luck over. I'm not gonna go back and count just in case.
So tomorrow I go to the doctors to try and figure out what's wrong with me. Although I feel a lot better now.

Where I spent the rest of my vacation.

Yes I wanted to go walk in the woods and commune with nature, yes I wanted to see the sights in Cherokee and go to the shops, buy some fudge, take a picture with an Indian Chief. You know with one of the guys who looks like the real thing but when he talks he's from Brooklyn. But my time over and we had to go home till next year. So I am hoping for better luck on our next trip to North Carolina and the Great Smoky Mountains. Mystical as it looks, really!

The nurses were very nice they all said goodbye. They had a bunch of people sick with this bacterial virus. No one gave me a clue how I got it. But I want you all to know I have a new feeling of empathy for those who have stomach problems. The poor people on chemotheraphy, I just can't tell you how awful a hurting stomach and nausea can be. It's relentless. You can't think because you are too sick too. So I send this blog out to all of those of you who have ever had a stomach virus of any kind. God bless you and may it never happen again. Give my a buckeye, break out the crystals, whatever it takes. I never want to feel like that again, no way, ever!

Now lastly I would like to say this. It was about three days ago that my DH was walking through the house naked. Now he ain't bad for his age. I recalled him wiping my forehead with a damp cloth, washing my back and hair and something came over me. Suddenly! I kinda started to look at him like I did when we were twenty. Gosh he was hot. And then he walked up to me, turned and farted in my direction.

What the hell was I thinking.

My advise to all of you!

It all started out so wonderful. Ten days in North Carolina staying at a lovely cabin.
The views are amazing and it gives me peace, while renewing my spirit.
We started out staying a day with my elderly mom, it's always tough because she cannot get over losing my father and this time in addition we got some bad family news about my youngest brother.
Well we did the best we could to cheer my mom and headed up to Ela, North Carolina. The mountain cabin is located on the same mountain as my quarter acre of dreams. I intend to live there and spend my life with nature instead of noxious. But that's another story.
I see the mountains!!!!!
This kind of thrill comes over me and I start to feel like I am coming home.
My husband Chris and my dog Junior are both ready to have some fun. We got there, stopped at a grocery store, picked up what we needed for a few days and arrived at the cabin. It's a rustic place, old sleds, sickles, washboards and such decorate the walls. A big three D map hangs on the wall, one lone stick pin points out where we are. So first the wireless card we decided to get for a month was useless. No matter what Verizon says, it ain't gonna happen. I hope to get my money back.
We then realized that the owner had not turned on their dish for TV either! Oh my God, Chris freaked. And it was freezing, I mean 37 degrees. So Chris tried to start a fire using paper towels he found left in the wood burning stove. He of course forgot to open the damper. The guy in the next house over heard me yelling at him and came over with some firesticks and helped to clear the smoke. I decided not to hit Chris with the frying pan.
The only thing that would save us from complete boredom with no internet, was that we could watch rental movies on his laptop. Bad thing is Ingles doesn't have any good tapes to rent. So we ate, did what we usually do and got into bed. We were exhausted, and me in bed at 9:30pm. Not normal for me for sure. But I was exhausted and seven hours in a car with Chris. Well let's just say, people who know us both had sympathy for me already. He is a jokester, I will show you what I mean later on.
At about 4:00am I woke up feeling really weird. Like I couldn't breathe. Then I started to get nauseous, more and more as time progressed. Ding, ding, ding, that's the warning I got before my whole stomach area started to hurt, I mean really hurt. So I'm puking and groaning and it's getting really bad, so bad that by the time Chris got up, I wasn't sure I could make it to the ER,
Now if this tells you anything, the guy slept next to me while all this was happening. Junior was there licking my face, while bonzo snored away. Truthfully I could have woken him, but...
So when he realizes how sick I am he starts dancin' around. You know like, holy shit, what do I do, dancing around. I really was scaring him, I musta looked bad, he don't scare easy. No shower, no clothes and still in my night gown, luckily I remembered shoes, he rushed me into the car and to the emergency room at the hotel Bryson City, NC.
It was a new hospital, I got lucky, coulda been the Bates Motel with my luck.
So Chris helps me into the place and they had me a kidney basin so that while I am walking and puking I wouldn't mess up those clean floors. Hey I thought, what is wrong with these people, where's the wheelchair, I'm puking lady, I have no clue where my ID card is!
Chris does his best, but he had no clue what medication I take, let alone when I last had a pap smear. He was starting to get green with some of the questions.
Meanwhile I feel so bad I could scream. I never realized a stomach could hurt so bad and that throwing up made it worse. I was moaning as I panted to stand the pain. Nurse Kratchet say's, "stop hyperventilating, you'll pass out." Now she tells me. I slump and Chris catches me, Wow, I didn't know he had it in him!
Medicines, aahhh, I hand my weekly pill container to the nurse, take that I think, you figure it
out.
Hours go by and the stomach is not better, they try Phenergan and some other thing and it's USELESS. Then the compazine, ah a tad better, at least I know I will not scream. Then the IV ouchhhhh! I always have good veins and here they took a half hour to find one. My arms looked like I have a serious drug problem. But they get one into vein. Pain medication flows into the tubing, thank God for pain medication. My pain lowers by 40%, still there, but I can lie down for a few minutes and not have to throw up. This is the weirdest stomachache I have ever had. Damn.
Hey, look at the air and bubbles in my IV, I remember thinking before I closed my eyes to rest, is that good? I really didn't care, but hey, I thought that could kill you...