Today, I'd like to discuss the element of time, in writing.
The statement below was made by a reader on a book discussion list to which I belong:
"After Paris it all began to fall apart for me. A lot of skipping around—unexplained time periods went by that didn’t make sense. He was in Puerto Rico, running for his life. Then he was beaten in New York. In the next scene, the heroine was upset because he was gone for months, but the timeline did not support her feelings.” (Disclaimer: The locations in this passage have been changed to protect the author.)
Did you hear her frustration with the author's work? I did.
Have you read a story which made you stop and wonder either how much time had gone by or how did a claimed span go by so fast? I’ve read stories where the time lines were totally off.
I remember in one book while the clock stuck midnight on New Year’s Eve the heroine wondered how she would provide for her unborn child. She thought this while stroking her flat stomach. Because of one missed period, she’d taken a pregnancy test earlier in the day. Pages later, it was spring and she gave birth to a full-term health baby boy. Spring stopped me. The seasonal identifiers didn’t fit the timeline of a normal pregnancy. The story, which had drawn me in, lost me right there. The author hadn’t done her job.
I’ve also read stories where the author didn’t use any time descriptor words or phases such as the next day, or later that morning, or years passed before. Which can leave the reader feeling lost.
Here's another example: Jonathan’s jaw tightened before he turned and slammed the door. (End of Chapter. Next chapter begins.) Jonathan didn’t know what to expect when he opened the door. The whole house was barren. Everything he’d owned was gone.
As the reader, do you know how much time has gone by? No. Jonathan could’ve closed the door and reopened it in peek-a-boo fashion for all we know. Which if he did, this story would have paranormal or psychological-thriller elements. But if our hero had been gone for days, weeks or months, we would see an emotional conflict.
How do you ensure a proper time flow for your story? Map it out. Draw a line. Write the important events that happen to your characters along the line and then chart in seasonal bits and pieces. If your hero is going to be gone for six months and he leaves in July, when he returns in January the weather, food, etc. should reflect the month’s setting in the area.
Also, remember to ground your readers by using time related phases.
Example: There was no more to say. Jonathan’s jaw tightened. He stalked out and slammed the door behind him. The next morning when he returned home the entire house was empty. His life had disappeared overnight.
See the difference?
